Do not spend the entire flight in the toilet… other passengers are busting.
Do not piss on the floor of said toilet.
Do not stink out said toilet.
Do not attempt to join the mile high club in said toilet… other passengers are busting.
Do not be an arsehole with the window shade.
Do not grab the seat in front of yours as you get in or out of your seat.
Do not kick the seat in front of you like an annoying dickhead… or let your screaming little mofo do this.
Do not hog the armrests… if you’re in the middle seat, both armrests are yours.
Do not be an arsehole and elbow the passengers next to you during meal service.
Do not slurp and crunch your food like a noisy motherfucker.
Do not complain about said food like an annoying motherfucker… it’s not a restaurant.
Do not be one of those annoying allergic bastards… ”Oh sorry, I’m intolerant to food with a vowel in the name.”
Do not listen to music, watch movies or play your dorky games with the sound blasting.
Do not poke the inflight entertainment screen on the seat in front of you like you’re killing a fucking spider.
Do not be barefoot on the plane… nobody appreciates you walking around with piss on your feet.
Do not stand up to get your stuff from the from the overhead compartment before the plane lands.
Do not stand up to get your stuff from the overhead compartment the instant the plane lands.
Do not clap when the plane lands. That’s the fucking idea.
Do not push in front of other passengers to get off said plane.
Do not take up the width of the airbridge with your screaming little mofos as you get off the plane.
Do not be an arsehole on a plane.
©Do not be an arsehole.