Do not walk in the middle of the footpath*… unless you are a total dickhead.
Do not be a slow walker… if you must be a slow walker, make it easy for people to overtake.
Do not meander all over the footpath… pick a line… you are somewhat excused if you are blind drunk.
Do not block the footpath by walking in a fucking massive group.
Do not block the footpath with your big fuck off Bentley pram / stroller / baby buggy.
Do not block the footpath and chat with your annoying friends who also have a big fuck off Bentley pram / stroller / baby buggy.
Do not block the footpath by carrying your shopping bags… unless you are a homeless bag lady / man / they.
Do not stop suddenly… it will end in tears… yours.
Do not be a creepy footpath ninja and walk a bee’s dick distance behind the person in front of you.
Do not ride bikes, scooters, skateboards, rollerblades etc on a footpath that that is crowded with pedestrians… it’s called a footpath for a reason.
Do not angrily ring your bell if you are a bike-riding-on-the-footpath arsehole… you will be met with the Pavlovian response of “FUCK OFF!!”
Do not look down at your phone while walking on a footpath… you are obviously not capable of doing both simultaneously.
Do not gouge people’s eyes out with your big fuck off golf umbrella… lift it the fuck up.
Do not be an arsehole on the footpath*
*sidewalk / pavement or whatever you happen to call it
©Do not be an arsehole.