Do not spit or cough up a lung in the sink…. Australians call this a “bush oyster”.
Do not leave paper towels / tissues / anything in the sink.
Do not have a conversation on your phone… “Hi Trevor, I’m just doing a shit”.
Do not have a conversation with anyone… do your business and get the fuck out.
Do not play music or games on your phone… do your business and get the fuck out.
Do not line the toilet seat with toilet paper and leave it there… after you’ve done your business and got the fuck out.
Do not conduct a Zoom meeting in the cubicle… do your business (not that business) and get the fuck out.
Do not leave anything on the floor of the cubicle… use your imagination for “anything”.
Do not spend three hours in the cubicle just because you hate your job… or your life.
Do not spend three hours hogging the sink shaving / putting makeup on etc.
Do not let your screaming little mofos be screaming little mofos.
Do not use the urinal / cubicle next to an occupied one if others are free… it is fucking weird.
Do not go to a public toilet with a group of friends / colleagues etc… it is fucking weird.
Do not obstruct the sink by standing there talking to said friends / colleagues for three hours.
Do not snort substances off the toilet seat or anywhere else… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not piss or shit anywhere except in the toilet… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not leave the toilet set up… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not take the toilet paper home… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not have sex in a public toilet… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not eat in a public toilet… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not forget to flush… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not leave without washing your hands… pretty fucking obvious, but…
Do not be an arsehole in a public toilet.
©Do not be an arsehole.