Do not be a rude arsehole to the support band… STFU.
Do not attempt to save spots for your 12 friends…. who eventually arrive just as the last song starts.
Do not talk incessantly throughout the show… STFU.
Do not record the entire show on your phone or iPad… experience it for fuck’s sake.
Do not live tweet / Instagram the entire show… experience it for fuck’s sake.
Do not grope or grind anyone… including yourself.
Do not climb on someone’s shoulders to get a better view.
Do not try and shove your way to the front of the stage with 12 of your friends.
Do not be an amateur critic and critique each song… STFU.
Do not projectile vomit.
Do not go out to get 17 beers during a song.
Do not yell out the name of the song as you recognise it… we know.
Do not bring your screaming little mofos… unless it’s The Wiggles.
Do not throw your phone at the artist / band… especially at a Harry Styles, Lil Nas X, Pink, Drake or Bebe Rexha concert.
Do not fart… there is always one phantom farter.
Do not mosh at a classical music concert.
Do not sing… unless the band invites it… people didn’t pay to hear your off-key, shithouse voice.
Do not scream out random song names in-between songs… surprisingly, the band actually has a setlist.
Do not scream out during quiet songs… STFU.
Do not throw beer / any other liquid / anything over the crowd.
Do not yell out “WOOO!!” randomly and regularly… STFU.
Do not throw your mother’s ashes or big fuck off wheel of brie on stage… especially at a Pink concert.
Do not block the view of shorter people if you are 3 metres tall.
Do not get blind drunk / stoned off your face and be an arsehole.
Do not clap out of time with the band… it’s not fucking difficult.
Do not be an arsehole at a concert.
©Do not be an arsehole.