Do not bring your screaming little mofo to an art gallery… they don’t care and you just piss everyone off
Do not push your big fuckoff Bentley pram containing said screaming little mofo around a gallery pissing off art lovers.
Do not let said screaming littlemofo run around being a screaming little mofo.
Do no not annoy people in an art gallery with your loud ringtone… put your phone on silent.
Do not stand two millimetres away from a piece of artwork examining it for two hours, when there are other people trying to look at it.
Do not have an extremely loud conversation critiquing the artwork… “The exaggerated use of pointillism was an allegory for…”… shut the fuck up.
Do not criticise an artwork… “My two-year-old could do better!”… STFU.
Do not complain about the size of an art work… “Jeez, Trevor, the Mona Lisa is so small!”… STFU.
Do not stand in front of an artwork and grunt, “Don’t get it.”… fuck off.
Do not spend two hours taking shitty photos of a magnificent Monet… then another hour choosing a filter to “make it look better” for your seven Instagram followers… fuck off.
Do not race through an exhibition, videoing the artwork, then say “You’ve seen it”… fuck off.
Do not set up a camera tripod in front of an artwork… fuck off.
Do not touch the artwork… fuck off.
Do not glue yourself to an artwork, whatever you are protesting about… fuck off.
Do not take a selfie in front of the artwork… you are not going to improve it.
Do not wear a bastard backpack into a gallery.
Do not be an arsehole at an art gallery.
©Do not be an arsehole.