Do not try and bring your 38 business colleagues or 14 family members into the lounge.
Do not be an arsehole to the lounge staff… especially if you do not have the status to get into the lounge.
Do not spread all your carry-on stuff over 27 chairs.
Do not use every power point to charge every device you own.
Do not use six chairs to create a bed.
Do not dress like a skank.
Do not wear your neck pillow in the lounge.
Do not wear thongs (footwear variety) in the lounge.
Do not take your shoes off.
Do not put your feet on the tables, chairs or couches… this is not your living room.
Do not be an annoying, loud business dickhead… “We can’t boil the ocean, we gotta close the deal now!” STFU.
Do not be an annoying, loud family dickhead… “Sammanfa and Maxxon, let’s do a video call with grandma!” STFU.
Do not play shitty music, explosion-filled movies or anything on any device without headphones.
Do not play shitty music or explosion-filled movies so loud through your headphones everyone can hear it.
Do not gorge yourself stupid at the buffet…. how many fucking plates of food do you need?
Do not pick up food with your bare hands… that’s why someone’s god invented tongs.
Do not storm the buffet like an emancipated vulture when fresh food is brought out.
Do not get pissed.
Do not let your screaming little mofos be screaming little mofos… it is not a playground.
Do not clip your nails in the lounge.
Do not hit be a sleazy arsehole and hit on solo (or otherwise) female travellers.
Do not be an arsehole in an airport lounge.
©Do not be an arsehole.